She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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