I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
