: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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