Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
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