This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
