I accidentally burped into my bong.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
