The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
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he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
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The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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