Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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