My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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