Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
