i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
