do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize