Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
