she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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