How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
