Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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