check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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