Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
