He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
