The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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