he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
