So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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