My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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