She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
