sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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