definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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