Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
