no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I wear drunk well.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
