operation have a gay friend backfired
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
