You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Walk of Shame today included voting.
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Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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