The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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