Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
