nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
