I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
