Too much gin, very little bucket
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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