Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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