Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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