i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
