I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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