i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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