I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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