bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
