Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
