Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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