just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
