do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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