My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You're so nebulous sometimes
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
