my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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