apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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