i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
