I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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