My balls are so social today.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
