I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
