I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
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Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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