I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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