I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
