Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i think my mom watched the whole time
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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