I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
