Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
