I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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