Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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