I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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