I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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