All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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