my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
