you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
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We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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