I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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